More Tao of Penny

If you name your daughter after a gemstone or car...it's not college you're going to be saving for...

What has 2 thumbs and is easily distracted? (Hint: You're supposed to do it to yourself) <---This all is a deceptively complicated joke...

Sex is my mother fucking business...and that's why I make sure I come inside at least 15 minutes early every time...

I hope no gold diggers are following me...because the most you'll get out of me is a shower...

Can I be honest with you...? ...when you ask me that, it makes me question every word you ever said to me prior...

Every Muppet has a man's hand shoved up his ass...why's everyone always picking on Burt & Ernie...? 

I ate a fortune cookie the other day...the note said, "You took my fucking life...and all you got was this stupid fortune..."

Do you ever wonder how ass backwards we must all sound to Yoda...?

Why do people get mad when you joke about their beliefs? I believe you can kiss my ass...

My punctuation isn't too bad but, I do tend to comma late sometimes... #VocabularyJokes

The proper way to greet a blind man is "It's nice to see you..." It's ok to laugh...they can't read this...

I never give a bum a dollar...fucking sellouts...panhandling should be about the art...

It takes 3 seconds to say "I promise it'll only take a second," you lying piece of shit...

When someone says "Can I ask you something...?" I just walk away...because they really should've asked first...

What has 2 thumbs and is easily distracted? (Hint: You're supposed to do it to yourself) <---This all is a deceptively complicated joke...

I tattooed "STORY" on my dick...it was the only way I could think of to get a girl to actually keep a long story short while she's talking..

I was telling my friend about a movie I saw, and he said the book is better...so I slapped the shit out of him & said "So is the Kindle..."

"This is the song that never ends" is a hallmark to how far a woman will go to prove a point...it just goes on and on, my friends...

"Agree to disagree" is female for "Shit, you're right..." 

Willy Wonka was a movie about a man who lured children to his home with candy...

Is it worth the amount of money it would take to fill my house with Jello just to sue them for false advertising when I run out of room...?

Opinions are like penises...people who have them want to shove them down everyone's throats...

About the Author - Brian Penny creates music under the name Mr. Versable. He tweets under the name @Versability. He believes in true love[Image], and won't rest until he's found his...oh, and his last blog cost Bank of America a whole lotta dough although I'm not pointing fingers, but the typos weren't mine...! Peace and love! haha ;)

The Tao of Penny...

...on Love & Sex

I think women only like me for my clothes...every time I take them off, they walk out...

Some people are sex symbols...I'm a masturbation mascot...

I just found an Easter Egg in every porn...turns out there's a plot hidden in the part I always fast forward through...

Look, ladies, not every guy is only after sex...some of us are looking for a cook and housekeeper too...

Dating or married, you still have to say the same shit over and over again...but at least when you're dating, it's to different people...

...on Self Reflection

In 1999 I attended my senior prom alone...I just dated myself...

When life hands you lemons, be grateful...most of us worked for ours...

I don't feel like procrastinating right now...I'll just do it tomorrow...

I'm not crazy, but my thoughts are...

Rioting is the new planking...

I'm suing my mirror for defamation...

...on The Arts

Willy Wonka was a movie about a guy who used candy to lure children to his home...

Googles, Twitters, Yahoos, Blogs...If only Dr. Seuss were alive to see this...

"I catch snitches." Harry Potter admits mafia ties...

...on Family

When my cat misses the litter box, I think he's also missing how much bigger than him I am, and how much cheaper it'd be to just eat him...

My Grandma is Hawaiian...Reporting spam has an entirely different meaning at her house...

My cat walked in on me watching videos of younger kittens online...looks like someone is sleeping on the couch tonight...

...on Drugs & Alcohol

There's a fine line between a drunk and an alcoholic...and I'm having trouble walking straight...

I may be an unemployed, broke, alcoholic...but I guarantee I'm happier on a Monday morning than you...

I'm having trouble paying my bills right now...All my money's tied up in alcohol and strippers...

...on Religion

I thank God every night that I'm not religious...

I once thought I was depressed for an entire year...turns out I'm just Catholic...

Sometimes I like to go to confession...not for atonement or anything...I just like to remind the priest of what he's missing...

...on Society

UK Riots = Right Dick + Wrong Hole

When corporations destroy our communities, we call it capitalism...When the youth do it, we call it rioting and looting...

I hate people that are repetitive...like really hate them. I mean I seriously can not STAND repetition! It's so annoyingly repetitive...

Chivalry didn't die...Congress cut it to make room in the budget...

You can't please all of the people all of the time...and as it turns out, you also can't please yourself in a school zone...

A priest, a doctor & a lawyer walk into a bar, order a drink, enjoy it, and leave...because not everything in life is a fucking joke...


About the Author - Brian Penny creates music under the name Mr. Versable. He tweets under the name @Versability. He believes in true love[Image], and won't rest until he's found his...oh, and his last blog cost Bank of America a whole lotta dough although I'm not pointing fingers, but the typos weren't mine...! Peace and love! haha ;)

Lyrics to "Meet Joe Black (Joseph K Black Doxxed on Waxx)"

Lyrics to "Meet Joe Black (Joseph K Black Doxxed on Waxx)"

Let's talk

you and I

Cause I never been type

to let my oxygen lie

my thoughts occupy

the spots on your thighs

cause I'm crossin a tease

and I'm dartin my eyes

so I cross all the t's

and I dot all my i's

you could never reach 

to take a shot at my high 

step up to me 

you know I'm always gonna fly 

pwnin DC, 

but Arizona's where I stride 

roll to Mickey D's 

we can't afford another ride 

stolen DVD's 

cause we ain't no one in your eyes

no not even me

knows where I'm goin with my rhymes

so get down on your knees

and get to blowin on my dice

let the camera roll

and show me closin both your eyes

the flow is no surprise

I hope you know

no one could deny it

let's just try it

don't be shy, Joe

hi, my name is Brian

I live among the broke and homeless

where every single building's got a closing notice

you can't hit us any harder

cause we're too broke to notice

but just so you know

we're gonna hold with both fists

cause we're never takin no shit

you'll end up wakin up

on the floor of the ocean

we'll set fire

to a bag of old shit

beg me to dance

and I'll dos y doe ya

I'll put you in the earth

so you'll oxydize

how many feet?

we can approximize

set your sights on me        

I can epoxy eyes

You'll never find the teeth 

this fox can hide 

I've strung so many g's 

done in lotsa guys 

cause I roll with bigger G's 

I'm talkin pasta guys

who never know defeat

and never block their eyes

see me in the streets 

and you will not survive 

I'll switch up the flow though

never go slow mo

upgrade your game

like you're runnin on froyo

fuck joe black

and hack off his yo joe

string him along

like I'm walkin my yoyo

stepped in my dojo

knocked out, oh no

nut in the wound

be my ice age hoe, Joe

you don't even know, Joe

I'm a Cobra to your Joe...Joe

and I'm fittin to blow, Joe

and when I spit my lava

it'll drop you to your knees

cover you in fire

till your cock is spillin cheese

unlimited desire

you will not get over me

why are you even tryin?

that's not a college degree?

the cops'll never see

when I stick you in a van

leave it in a warehouse

so you can feel abandoned

putty in my hand

you'll be reprimanded

you spilled the water, Joe

I just damned it

About the Author - Brian Penny creates music under the name Mr. Versable. He tweets under the name @Versability. He believes in true love[Image], and won't rest until he's found his...oh, and his last blog cost Bank of America a whole lotta dough although I'm not pointing fingers, but the typos weren't mine...! Peace and love! haha ;)

Oops, Wrong Hole

Dear Western Society,


I hope you caught a glimpse of the riot footage from the UK somewhere in your "6 minutes before/after" cushion of Tivo'd reality shows. Odds are you saw it in fast forward, and haven't the first clue as to why this was going on. All you saw was kids taking to the streets like angels and demons, altering reality to fit their image. I hope you were paying attention, because this is not an isolated incident.


Instead, the riots that have raged throughout the UK serve as a wake-up call to the rest of us. Times are hard. The global economy is quickly starting to turn away from us, favoring cultural economies we do not understand. Our methods are quickly becoming obsolete. We chanted "change" while the rest of the world gained traction on the future. The pressure of dealing with these losses has finally boiled over in the imaginations of our youth.


The youth, however, will act where the older generations will simply gripe. They are taking action based on the reality they see around themselves vs the consumerist mentality that's driven down their throats from birth. It's easy for us to sit back in our houses and condemn those rioting and looting. We can all agree that the unchecked violence and destruction was uncalled for. That's not the point.


The point, my friends, is this - these kids are not to blame for their actions, for they don't fully understand. They were never taught how to properly voice their displeasure. We never showed them the proper way. What have you done to show the younger generations the proper way to create change in the world? I'm willing to bet these riots are cleaned up quicker than the banking and mortgage crises that are destroying communities and economies throughout the US and Europe.


Not since World War II have I seen this much widespread destruction come from a single entity. The cost of rebuilding our society will be great. Time is marching on, and the world is continuing to spin while we struggle to understand what has happened...


...and in the midst of the chaos that the financial institutions have inflicted upon our way of life, a group of kids stood up for a man who was wrongfully murdered by a corrupted power...a man that was doing NOTHING to harm ANYONE in ANY WAY...


We stopped what we were doing to watch in awe, because it stood out to us. Everyone else in the world as we know it was too fucking scared and so fucking tired and so beat the fuck up that they gave up. These kids realized the world was watching. They had nobody to guide them. They found solidarity within themselves. They acted as loudly and passionately as they knew how. They took the ball...and they ran with it...and they failed...spectacularly.


It was EPIC!


So I implore you to take this time and look within yourself, not at the actions of these kids. Ask yourself what you would've done if you were in their shoes, and then go out there and do it...because we're all in the same boat. Wall Street and it's minions are fucking us all, and it's up to you to fuck back...


...just next time plug the right hole...


Love Always,
Brian

About the Author - Brian Penny creates music under the name Mr. Versable. He tweets under the name @Versability. He believes in true love[Image], and won't rest until he's found his...oh, and his last blog cost Bank of America a whole lotta dough although I'm not pointing fingers, but the typos weren't mine...! Peace and love! haha ;)

The Power of Anonymity

Anonymity...Nothingness....The Unknown...Meaningless...Oblivion...


Let's just address the elephant in the room...these ideas are at the same time the most intriguing and terrifying concepts of the internet age. We've grown up knowing and accepting that we're being monitored. Those currently entering adulthood have lived their entire lives in an era of seemingly global connectivity. Our society is quickly adapting to this new way of life.


Older generations would like us to believe that the level of connectivity brought about by the implementation of the world wide web has given birth to a sort of digital revolution. We are to understand that Anonymous rose from the dark corners of technology to terrorize real world peace and prosperity. Professors, politicians, and parents alike impart this way of thinking upon us from a very young age. We are led to follow.


But we must ask ourselves this: Is the perspective handed to us by the tools of society the correct one? 


A young Italian explorer named Christopher Columbus challenged modern common sense in his age. The majority of existing governments at the time did not agree with his viewpoint anymore than they agreed with Galileo Galilei. We look at them as great minds now, but it is imperative that you understand that they acted in opposition of popular opinion. It is not the machine of society that creates innovation, but rather it is those that dare to not only voice a differing opinion, but to act upon it.


What Anonymous has done is quite simple. Anonymous is an entity which embodies this very ideal, believed and followed by every great artist, scientist, philosopher, explorer, and inventor in human history. In becoming this Anonymous has become a gateway for modern worldwide innovation in the digital age.While governments and corporations alike attempt to extinguish the light of passion within us, Anonymous exists as a reminder that there is always another way of thinking and doing.


Anonymous is not a group on the internet, as mainstream public opinion would have you believe. It is instead the manifestation of our collective humanity, yearning for a voice in the midst of all of the angst, pain, depression, and anger that surrounds us in our daily lives. Anonymous is a platform for us to stand up for ourselves and voice our opposition to the current phase of the human condition in which we live. Anonymous is a stage for direct and peaceful opposition against the powers in the world that would prefer to control us rather than accept us.


Anonymity is our destiny. Only by taking control of our personal anonymity can we break free from the chains with which corporate greed and government weakness bind us. When you become comfortable with your own anonymity, you can achieve the type of greatness in the face of the unknown that is documented throughout every age of human existence. The explorers of the unknown, documented throughout the annals of human history, were Anonymous.


Never forget that...


Anonymous is us, for we are all Anonymous. 


About the Author - Brian Penny creates music under the name Mr. Versable. He tweets under the name @Versability. He believes in true love[Image], and won't rest until he's found his...oh, and his last blog cost Bank of America a whole lotta dough although I'm not pointing fingers, but the typos weren't mine...! Peace and love! haha ;)

We Didn't Start the Fire

I was bored today, so I started studying the effects of technology on humanity*. I noticed some interesting trade-offs although it's up to you to decide for yourself whether it's good or bad. Either way - choose, decide, and work toward something you believe in no matter what anyone thinks of you. Stand, be yourself, and fight for whatever you believe in, whatever side you take.

*Links marked with an * are advertisements to help keep me running. I read the product descriptions to see if it's interesting, but that's about it. All other links are extended info on the subject being discussed.

Cell phones and Computers have automated and integrated the communication process. 

Although the computer has been an integral part of the advancement of many technologies, it is nothing more than an ingredient in the development of a much more invaluable resource in the history of mankind...the Internet. In the same way, the invention of the telephone led to the development of cellular phones, which have also recently been integrated into the larger invention of the internet via widespread smart phone usage. We are still too early in the impact stages to know the mass effects the internet will have on mankind overall, however it has replaced many technologies thus far, with many more poised to topple over the next 2 decades.

In its earliest stages, the internet was seen by experts, corporations, governments, and analysts as either a resource or a competitor, depending on the industry and timeframe. Things have settled in today's society, and everything is much more departmentalized. After taking huge initial beatings for attempting to compete with the internet, industries such as banking, transportation, retail, and media have integrated what they view as essential strategies to survive. Still...we are only watching the beginning...

Many large corporations have already fallen casualty, and outdated methodologies continue to plague the leaders of these industries. While much focus is on the government and military regimes that are currently collapsing because of the internet, I have been watching and studying the internet's war with Corporate America, which thus far has provided many lulz from the inside. Like Nero playing while Rome is burning, I have joined with other artists throughout various mediums to document some of the important battles being fought in cyberspace today in an attempt to spread the voice of the people.

Propaganda is running rampant from all sides today. Government officials and Corporate goons alike are rushing to hire spin doctors to paint themselves in a positive light (or in the case of super-villains like Bank of America, at least bury the stories in a mound of empty fluff) while also attempting to discredit the heroes who have dared to blaze a trail through the cyber jungle for other activists to follow. As much as I would like to employ their back-handed ways, I instead urge you to look into your heart and do what you feel is right.

Personally, I'm siding with Anonymous on this one. Think what you will of their intentions, but I've seen behind the curtains of Oz, my friends, and I've personally witnessed Anonymous taking more direct, peaceful, and measurable action against corruption than I've seen from any government or company. Their detractors will do their best to paint them as terrorists, extremists, etc. They don't want us to understand their intentions. They don't want our brainwashing to be deprogrammed. They want us focusing on the karats they tied to our heads to keep us running on their wheels.

A Message to the Corporate and Government Trolls

So by all means, corporate and government trolls, please continue with your propaganda machine. Herd the sheeple into whatever pen you want. It doesn't make the least bit of difference. Wolves like me will always think freely no matter what you say. All you're really doing is showing us where the pens are and teaching us to herd. 

You see...I was raised on military bases. I grew up in government housing. My family was too broke to afford all your shiny things you tout, so I spent my childhood reading manuals and training materials from your archives. In your rush to push into the new century, you've allowed yourselves to become vulnerable. Hackers from Anonymous (which is an important distinction to make, because few members of Anonymous are actually hackers) jumped on this vulnerability for all the wolves to see. You can arrest those proud few that were able to so easily destroy your walls, but it doesn't change the fact that all of the wolves are watching how you rebuild and learning how you think.

The damage inflicted by Anonymous' campaign for transparency isn't in the actual data taken. What you'll grow to regret as we move into a new era is the fact that we all saw how you handled the situation. Like raptors testing the strength of the electric fence around our pen*, we learned the weaknesses and vulnerabilities. We witnessed the response times and damage control.

The wolves have evolved...we're quickly gaining a voice...and we're coming for you...

Expect us.

About the Author - Brian Penny creates music under the name Mr. Versable. He tweets under the name @Versability. He believes in true love[Image], and won't rest until he's found his...oh, and his last blog cost Bank of America a whole lotta dough although I'm not pointing fingers, but the typos weren't mine...! Peace and love! haha ;)